I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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