Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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