I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
