So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
