There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
