Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize