Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
