She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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