Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Then you guys just all showered together...?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
