Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
