We need to rekindle our bromance
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
