i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize