honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
