exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
