my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
