Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
