wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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