I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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