I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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