If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
