I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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