My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
