I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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