so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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