My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
