I heard we made out
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
