I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize