That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize