sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
