i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
