onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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