Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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