so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
