I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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