i just wanna soil my oats bro
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
