I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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