ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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