She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
