I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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