My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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