eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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