just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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