WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?