Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
