Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm home, then i'll come over
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?