ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.