My room smells like vodka and shame
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.