If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
