Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
