why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
