shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
