everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The uberlube is also flammable
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
