do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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