I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
