Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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