Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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