finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
