He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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