I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come see our sink grown plant.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
