Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
