I am spending my child support on dildos
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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