P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
