I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
