that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
