Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
