11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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