Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you still have your period?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
